


Close to My Heart

by argentress



Series: Pretty Sounds [12]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 21:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20627960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentress/pseuds/argentress
Summary: And then there were four.





	Close to My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This baby news has got me soft, y’all.

Jos had been prepared for mood swings. She’d been prepared for screaming matches with Tyler, for her anxiety to ebb and swell without warning, for what she thought was coming. She should have known better than to assume it would all be the same, that she and Tyler would suffer through the same things. In as many ways as they were similar, there were infinitely more ways that they were different, and Jos should have known this would be one of them. It would be worth it though. She knew it would be worth it. 

The house is always quiet without Tyler in it. Everyone expects _her_ to be the one making a racket, to fill every room with noise, but it’s always Tyler’s voice that fills in the cracks, that expands to every corner. Even when she’s in the studio with her headphones on, sound muffled, Jos can feel her across the house, like her heartbeat is in her ear. Tyler hovers less than Jos did, but Jos feels her presence all the same, like a shadow at her elbow. She’s never truly alone, not anymore. 

Jim pads along behind her as she tidies up, collecting clothes and books, wiping sticky surfaces coated in crumbs. The rhythmic tapping of his nails on the hardwood is soothing, something for Jos to focus on, to time her breathing to. His muzzle is getting whiter, eyes soft and kind, a gentleness to him that makes Jos ache. As she places the plastic cups and bowls into the sink she feels a wet nose press into her palm, and she glances down at his soft head. 

“Thanks, buddy. I’m almost done.” She scratches him behind his ears softly, watches his tail swing slowly side to side. Even _ he _ looks exhausted lately. Jos knows the feeling. 

She’s just put the kitchen back into order when it hits her, right on schedule. Jos doesn’t know how Jim knows, he’s never been trained to recognize physical symptoms like he has mental ones, but she supposes it’s just part of them having been together so long. Jim knows her just as well as Tyler does at this point. Sometimes even better than Jos knows herself. He whines softly and she gives him another soft rub behind the ears as she shuffles past him out of the kitchen. 

It doesn’t matter how long she’s been dealing with it, every time the nausea hits her it’s worse than she remembers. Her head pounds in her skull, stomach twisting in waves, and Jos fights to keep upright until she can get to the bedroom. They keep the fan running all day now, don’t bother worrying about the electricity when even a soft breeze across Jos’ face helps so much. The ukulele is still on the nightstand where Tyler left it that morning, and Jos wishes she was there to play it for her. 

The sheets are cool against her skin, and Jos lets out a small sigh as she slides down onto them. The bed dips softly underneath her, pillowing her, and Jos is reminded again just how big she’s gotten. Tyler pokes fun of her on good days, tells her how enormous her boobs are getting. Jos tells her she’s just jealous. 

Her eyes slide closed and Jos takes a deep breath. In _one two three_, out _ one two three_. She repeats the process, willing her stomach to settle, begging anyone who’ll listen then it’ll be brief this time. The worst part is that she never actually throws up. At least if she could do that it would be over, she’d feel better. But not even that relief is allowed to her. Instead she tries to think of other things, tries to hear Tyler’s soft chords in her head. 

“Momma?”

A soft voice comes from down the hallway, and Jos lifts her head slowly. “In here, baby.”

A small head of brown hair peeks around the doorway, Jim following closely behind. Jos smiles at her softly, seeing the apprehension in her eyes. She hates worrying her and Tyler. Jos is always the one taking care of them, the one who’s strong when things are tough. Tyler’s always trying to convince her that it’s okay that she needs help sometimes, that Tyler likes taking care of her. There’s still a part of her, even now, that hates feeling like a burden. Jos finds it hard to outgrow. 

“I’m okay, baby.” The dark brown eyes soften, but her small hands are still tight on the doorframe. “Here, come lay with me.”

Jos watches her push away from the doorframe slowly, Jim stepping lightly behind her as she makes her way to the bed. She climbs up easily and Jos is reminded again how big she’s getting. It seems like only yesterday they were laying in Tyler’s hospital bed, her tiny pink face pressed between them. She’ll be four soon, will share Jos’ hospital bed with them when the time comes. 

“Momma,” She whispers, and Jos reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind her perfect, tiny ear. “You don’t feel good?”

“I’m okay, baby. My tummy just hurts a little bit.”

She puts one of her little hands on Jos’ cheek, a soft look in her eye. Jos recognizes it as the same look she gives her when she’s sick, when she wants her to know that everything will be okay. It never stops being amazing seeing her and Tyler’s expressions on her little face. Jos smiles at her softly. 

She leans down to bring her face near Jos’ growing belly, her voice soft in that way kids whisper, like they still don’t quite know how to control their growing voice. “Be nice to Momma, Baby.”

Jos smiles down at her, her eyes a little wet, and pats the pillow next to her head. Her little face comes back into view, resting only a few inches away from her own. Jos taps her lightly on the nose and her face scrunches up in a smile. She’s always looked more like Tyler, even from the beginning, but Jos loves seeing her own freckles dusted across her soft cheeks. Her little body scoots just a little bit closer, until her breaths blow softly across her cheeks. 

“Momma.” She whispers and Jos can’t help smiling. 

“Yes, baby?” Her voice is equally quiet. 

“You wanna watch Elsa later?” It’s her favorite, the one they always watch when she’s sick or having a bad day. She likes that there’s two girls in it, that they love each other. They’ve explained a few times now that they’re sisters like her and the baby, not like Momma and Mommy, but it’s still a losing battle. Jos doesn’t mind, she just likes when she runs around the room singing “Let It Go.”

“Maybe, baby. Momma needs to rest right now, okay?”

“Okay.” She whispers again, and Jos throws an arm over her, pulling her close until she can rub her little nose with her own, larger one. 

“I love you.”

She giggles, her little hand on Jos’ cheek. “I love you too, Momma.”

They’re both asleep when Tyler gets home, Jim curled up at the side of the bed. They don’t hear her call out softly when she comes in, don’t hear her drop her bag in the kitchen or walk quietly down to the bedroom. Jim lifts his head when she reaches the doorway, and Tyler smiles down at him. She scratches him softly behind the ears before taking in the scene on the bed. 

“Thanks for taking care of my girls, handsome.”

His tail bounces softly against the carpet, sound muffled and drowned out by the white noise of the fan. Tyler slips off her shoes, dropping her jacket on the rocking chair in the corner. They’d moved it back into their room a few weeks ago, when they’d started to get close. They still curled up in it for story time though, and Tyler couldn’t help feeling excited thinking about how soon it would hold three of them, instead of two. 

The bed sags slightly as Tyler climbs on top of the covers, and Jos’ eyes peek open. She looks tired, but relaxed, and Tyler lets out a sigh of relief. The last few months have been so difficult, watching her suffer and not being able to help. Tyler does her best, does whatever she can to make her feel more comfortable, but it’s so different than what she went though. She’s sure they’ll figure everything out, just in time for her to arrive, and be faced with a whole new set of adjustments. It’s always the way of things. 

“Hi.” Tyler whispers as she saddles up behind them, her arm moving across the small body between them, until it can rub Jos’s upper arm softly. 

“Hi.” Jos whispers back, a smile on her face.

“Feeling okay?” Tyler tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, lets her thumb linger on Jos’ cheek. 

“I am now.”

Jos’ hand rests on Tyler’s hip, her arm barely reaching across her belly, their daughters sandwiched between them. Tyler watches her chest rise and fall, the small form between them a perfect mirror, and her throat tightens. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real, like a dream that Tyler never thought could be hers. It’s hard to think about what could have been, what she could have missed out on. She’s luckier than she ever imagined. The roar of the crowd will never amount to this moment, will never even come close. 

This is all Tyler needs, just the four of them. Together. 


End file.
